Hello! It's really been a very long time since I logged on here on DA. I really miss chatting with my friends and followers here, as well as seeing all the art that I love from my favorite artists.
I know I've been absent for a very long time... many of you wondered what happened to me. Some thought that I died (and no, i'm not dead ^_^) and only a hand full of folks (my friends here on DA) know a little of what has been happening... I'm here now to tell you why and explain things. Hopefully I don't make this too long, and that there will be those of you that care, and there will probably be those of you that don't.... but here goes....
I've been living with back pain for the last seven years. I had a herniated disc in my L5 section of my spine, that was hitting a major nerve that sends the most horrible pain you can imagine in my lower back down my left buttocks, leg and to my toes. it's something that I do not wish upon anyone, even to my worst enemy. Now, many of you, including my doctor wiho just did my surgery, would wonder why I would live like this for so long? The answer is simple... I'm afraid of the idea of getting cut on and have surgery done. back then, I was bound and determined that I would live with this pain as long as I don't go under the knife. So I tolerated it for years. And as each year went by, it got a little worse.
This also explains why i was starting to not upload art as fast as I normally would as time went by. there are moments where i just could not sit down, stand up or lay down without feeling the pain. because of this, it also affected my job as well which made me work harder because it requires me to sit for long periods of time. the combination of pain, stress, and trying to support my new growing family was taking its toll. but i still tried to pick up my pencil to draw....
...and then I just couldn't do it anymore. the pain became too much. I stopped drawing. I stopped logging on to DA.
But why didn't I explain what was happening to you all? ....It's because I felt that I let you all down... that I couldn't deliver and that i failed not only all of you, but myself. All because of my stubbornness to do nothing about this pain.
Just recently, it became too much. On May 12th, I could not stand up. I cried and screamed in pain just moving an inch... but nothing pained me more than seeing my kids cry seeing their dad in such pain. Right then and there, I decided that something needed to be done, no matter what. I'm too young of a man to have my life being ending up this way. I needed to get back into my life.
So I had surgery scheduled to be done on May 31st. I'll admit that I was scared shittless as to what was going to be done to me. But the doctors assured that I will be okay... I still was having second thoughts because of my fear of surgery.
Needless to say the surgery went well! I can say that I'm now free of all the pain I was experiencing for so long. Well, I traded one pain for another (still got to heal from surgery), but I'd take this pain over that other horrible experience any day.
I'm recovering very slowly and well, and I'm getting back on my feet. I'm taking things very very slow as my doctors instructed me to do so, and I'm able to do things that I couldn't before. Like taking the time to type this out to you all. Once I get my full strength back, I'll be back to drawing again. I do miss it... drawing has always been a part of my life, and it's something that I wanted to share with you all.
So to my followers and friends, thank you all for your support! and to those who may be upset with me (i've gotten hate messages as well), all I can say is that I'm sorry, and that I'm only human.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you! Special thanks to Jason and Celia for listening and standing by me. and to Manda, thanks for your support.
and if you made it this far into the journal, an extra special thanks goes to you!
And Please do leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you all...
take care everyone!
XXX - Also, to all my NaruSaku fans, all I can say is Hell Yeah for chapter 631!!!
And that my girl Sakura is back and badass as ever! NaruSaku FTW!